Make yourself a priority!

Last week I received an email asking me to attend a farewell dinner for a work colleague. The email arrived on Tuesday for a Thursday night dinner and I immediately started wondering how I could reshuffle everything to attend. I had exams to mark and baking for Friday to complete, as well the usual household chores and Thursday being my usual yoga night. Could I swap this to that day? Could I potentially skip that? My brain was buzzing and suddenly a quiet little voice said

STOP

I was going to shuffle all these things that I’d already decided were a high priority to get done? With two days notice? And to be perfectly honest, for a person who hadn’t meant a heck of a lot to me? That seemed pretty warped. Examining it deeper, I realised that my fear was that I would look like I wasn’t a “team player” – that by not attending, I’d look like less of a good worker than the rest of the team. How did that serve me well at all?

I sent my apologies, saying that I couldn’t attend. I didn’t justify why, I said that I was unable to attend and left it at that. I know I’m a good worker and going to a dinner out doesn’t make me a great teacher (especially if I used that time to mark exams). The one thing that kept repeating in my mind was “You have to make yourself a priority” – in the infamous words of Dr. Phil, we teach people how to treat us. If I’m not willing to acknowledge that my life balance is important, why would anyone else acknowledge that it was important either?

Photoย ยฉ Sweet Mama M

As usually happens, when I acknowledge it in my own life, I start seeing it elsewhere. Click through to read of a couple of other lovely ladies who have had the determination to put their foot down and put themselves first.

Are you treating yourself with the same importance and respect that you would like others to treat you? I’d love to know!

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Make yourself a priority!

  1. Firstly, thankyou so much for linking to my blog post ๐Ÿ™‚
    Secondly, thankyou for this blog post of your own! I can totally relate and needed the reminder ๐Ÿ™‚ I am always trying to shove social occasions in here, there and everywhere and being a mummy now makes it even harder! I can sometimes feel like I’m not a part of my pre-baby social group anymore because I have to say no to things when the Little Mister is too tired/sick/his schedule needs some work/no babysitters etc. I try my hardest and it’s been a really big lesson in prioritising and realising who and what is important.
    Like I mention in my blog post, I’m working really hard on not comparing myself to others and worrying about what they think. I recently mentally filed away/archived a friendship and expect nothing from that, as this person made me feel worse about myself when I couldn’t keep up with the craziness and when it was clear they were trying too hard to compare their parenting with mine. I realised I was accidentally getting sucked into this person’s stressful game and since releasing myself from the situation/friendship I feel so much better.
    You’re awesome and you deserve to come first ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Glad to hear that you’re working on it Kez! It really is a one that you just need to keep working and working at, I don’t know when it became so de rigueur to put up with other people’s crappy attitudes and demands.

  2. Good on you!
    It is ridiculous how much trouble you can go to and stress you can create fitting in things and reorganising things to suit others.

  3. I can totally relate. It’s amazing how much we do based on other people’s needs. We have so many different roles in our lives and we tend to put ourselves on the bottom of the totem pole, but if there’s something I really learned is that if you don’t take care of yourself physically and mentally, you will not be able to care for others. I also worry about being a role model to my daughter. Do I want her breaking her back making everybody else happy around her to the extent that she’s not happy? I think not. Thanks for sharing this post.

  4. I totally agree with this one, and its something I am trying to bring into my life as well. Since arriving in London SO many of our friends ask us to things here, there and everywhere – and not only is it the time involved, it’s also the cost (which for us, on a teeny budget, is a huge issue). I’ve come to realise that before I instinctively say “yes” to everything I am allowed to ask myself “will x person notice if I am not there”. If it’s an essential and you really need to be there, then of course I will shift things around and make room. But if it’s a friends boyfriends birthday, or my partners ex-colleagues leaving drinks, or in your case a not-so-close colleagues dinner….will it REALLY matter to them if you aren’t there? If the answer is “no” then it’s ok to not attend, and to not stress yourself out about it. Yes, of course they would like you to be there, but if you don’t attend it’s not going to be the end of their world…yet that extra space in your life is much needed.

    Good on you for recognizing the space you needed and saying no. A bit of R&R (or less stress/pressure) should come first! xx

  5. I think we can ALL relate to this! It’s funny how our priorities get shuffled for the silliest things. We need a good smack in the face with sensibility! Thanks for posting, this is a great reminder.

  6. Wow I must be really selfish! I would never even consider going to a work collegue’s farewell unless they were my BFF. Do what you want to do girl! It’s the only way to go about it.

  7. I’d have made the same decision in your place. It’s an awful lot of replanning to make it to one event with just two days notice. I must admit, I usually place other people in front of myself. Thanks for posting this to remind me to put myself first.

Comments are closed.