I’m not afraid to say it – I am a woman with baby fever – also known as being clucky or baby rabies, although I think that last one sounds awful! I’ve always wanted to be a mother some day but I can safely say that the “fever” has only kicked in over the last year and a half. All of a sudden it feels like EVERYONE is having babies… I know this isn’t the case but with three friends having had or having babies in the months of October and November, it seems kind of crazy! Not to mention the baby shower at work in two weeks time for the other two work colleagues that got married this year – honeymoon babies for both of them!
In some ways this is great because I can satisfy my urge to buy cute little outfits, toys, etc, by buying them for my friends and their children – Little J is scoring an awesome first birthday present for this very reason! I get to cuddle lots of newborn babies and see their cute milk-drunk faces and gain lots of knowledge about the different things that have worked for different parents. In some ways this can be awful because I feel like I learn a lot of useful information but then can’t share it – I can’t imagine many mamas want advice from someone who hasn’t “been there, done that”. And there’s that small part of me that hears the pregnancy announcement and thinks “Why can’t that be me?”.
I, of course, know why it can’t be me. We made the decision together not to try yet – to focus on health and to let things go back to normal after a crazy year. I know with my PCOS that trying doesn’t necessarily mean that it will happen. I totally respect all those women who are trying and struggling with infertility – I think that takes a huge amount of strength and I know that after the full-on year we’ve had, that’s strength I just don’t have right now. I understand wanting to get our financial ducks in a row – my head gets it all. My heart struggles with it, and that’s the part that sucks.
I’ve coped with baby fever as a chronic condition and I think I’ve managed to keep it largely under control. I can’t wait, however, until the Mama in my name stands for more than just the care that I offer to my friends. Is there anyone out there also suffering from the baby rabies (nope, still can’t handle the name) and willing to own up to it?