Mama M Tries: Colonic Irrigation

I’m always up for trying new things in the realm of health and beauty so I’ve decided to start a new category on the blog “Mama M Tries”. I’m all about the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and I’ll be giving you the down-low on the things that you may have been afraid to ask about!

This piece was inspired by a post I wrote for a weight-loss website in 2011.

Yes, today I am talking about poo, people. After years of punishing my body with fatty, starchy foods, I had made changes already in January 2011. Something still wasn’t right however… was I going to be one of these people who always had  a funny gut? Surely “normal people” were more regular than this?  I saw a coupon on Groupon for a colonic irrigation and nutritional consultation and figured “why not?”. At the most, I was going to be out $65 and I could at least say I’d had an interesting experience.

I won’t deny it, I was VERY nervous the day before and the day of my appointment. Let’s face it, especially in polite circles, people don’t talk about their experiences of having something up their butts flushing them out! I had no idea what to expect. I arrived at the centre and had my consultation and then was taking to a private room (that looked like what you’d expect from a day spa)  and talked through the procedure, including the recliner/toilet facility that you will be on for your treatment. What you insert (and it is you, in the privacy of the room by yourself – you use a call button when you are all set to start the treatment) into your rectum looks like a teeny tiny showerhead attached to a small tube, no bigger than my little finger. Had I known that beforehand, I might have been significantly less nervous! You turn the water on (distilled and heated) and it fills up inside you until the point where you can’t hold it in anymore and you release (it flows around the tube) taking waste with it. It flows into the toilet facility and down through a tube where you can actually view it before heading to the sewers and it made for some fascinating viewing. This leads me to point number one of the nutritional consultation…

  1. Chew your food! This seems obvious but Papa M and I have come to the conclusion that I eat like a duck, with a rudimentary chew and then it all goes down my gullet whole. There were pieces of semi-digested yet identifiable food being flushed out of my colon! No wonder my digestion was having a difficult time! The nutritionist advised me to liquify every second mouthful (chew until it is slurry) in order to assist my digestive system processes. Not only does it make the food easier for the stomach to digest but your saliva also aids in giving additional digestive enzymes to the system in order to gain the most benefits. This is still the thing that I find THE hardest to remember to do.
  2. Raw Food. The nutritionist advocated a largely raw diet and advised against cooking fruits and vegetables on a regular basis as it destroys some of the nutritional benefits. I’m not a huge fan of hot fruit anyway (that’s right, McDonald’s Apple Pie has never been a go for me) but we’ve been doing a lot of warm vegetables lately and we should aim to balance that out with a little bit of salad. This lead to…
  3. Food Order. Fruit, Salad, Cooked Whole, Processed Food. I was advised that the body finds fruit the quickest to digest, followed by salad and so on. A reason that people can get gut pain is if they have eaten something difficult to digest and they follow this with something easy to digest. The easy to digest food is fermenting and digesting on top of the other food and has nowhere to go. I still try and maintain this food order, but it is super hard when you have something delicious like bacon sitting on your plate! It also means that you are often more full by the time that you get to the processed “junky” food and so you eat less.
  4. Green Smoothies. I was given a recipe for green smoothies and a year later I’ve been having them instead of a “traditional” breakfast, the result being I am satisfied for longer. The recipe is so simplistic:

1 Banana

2 cups green leafy vegetables

2 pieces of whatever fruit you have to hand

Dice everything, stick it in a blender and mix until a creamy consistency. You’re done!

That easy, seriously! Surprisingly delicious, the rationale behind this is you are giving your body a solid nutritional boost at the start of the day. I definitely notice the difference when I start the day with a delicious green smoothie!

Would I have another colonic irrigation? If I needed to. I felt more hydrated, less bloated and I was definitely more regular. I didn’t seen the amazing drop in weight that some clients do but that was not my main goal. The downside is definitely price; at non-Groupon rates it is not very affordable. The best thing is that almost a couple of years later, my gut health is pretty good and I still follow most of the nutritional lessons given to me. Win!