I’ve popped out today’s scheduled post until Thursday because I feel like I’ve been having the same conversation with several people over the weekend that have similar feelings about the end of their relationships and it strikes me that maybe some of my readers need to hear it too.
One of the questions I get asked most often about my marriage ending is whether I regret getting married in the first place. The answer is a strong and unequivocal no. Just because it didn’t work out, doesn’t mean that I wish it had never happened. Had M-Daddy and I not got married, we would never have had CJ – I was firmly against having kids out of wedlock. CJ is who he is because he is a part of his father and a part of me and that blend (to me) is wonderful. For that reason alone, my firm belief that CJ was meant to exist in this world, I’d make the same decision given my time over. It wasn’t all crap either. There’s a perception that if a marriage fails that it must have always been somewhat miserable. We had some amazing experiences together and finished our growing up together and we’ll always love each other – we’re just not IN LOVE anymore. Relationships and love thrives when people can fulfil each other’s needs and we couldn’t do that. I have faith that for both of us, there’s someone out there who can.
I didn’t get married thinking that it wasn’t going to last forever. I meant the words that I said on that day. But I also know that I’m not the same person I was those years ago, and neither is he. It turned out that we were right for each other for a season and not a lifetime and I’m at peace with that. We learnt the lessons we were meant to learn from each other and learnt what we really wanted out of life. Staying in a marriage that was ultimately unfulfilling to the both of us would have been a thing I would regret. I still believe in the fairy tale. I still want to grow old with someone. I still believe (and I see it with some of my friends) that some relationships are meant to last a lifetime. I’m not so jaded that I wouldn’t make the leap again. Things fall apart so that other things can fall together and we just have to trust in God/The Universe/Fate/The Force’s timing. It may sound cliche but it’s true. I’m looking forward to the adventures that the future has to offer.
And now, after that little emotional semi-rant, I return you to regularly scheduled programming LOL